They have lived in hell; they are not devils; now they want out.


Jun 2013

Love Marriage Sex

If you had to rearrange these words in some order that pleases you, then most of us would put sex first then may be marriage and love last. It is easier much to say this than do. Fundamentally, it is always true that love comes first, then marriage and lastly sex! But how do you decide which one comes first? Are there norms that you rely on or is it just a personal desire that as to be your way? The order might vary from one culture to another, however the basis of all the three rely on individuals belief.
In the contemporary world, marriage often comes last of all. The genesis of all these being love. Love is often used to mean many different things; liking someone or something, affection, friendship, self-sacrficing (agape)…. But all these are different from that love we always refer to when we say we have ‘fallen in love’. This love is irrational. It is love that does not rely on anything, it is unconditional. It displays some form of maturity, puts the other person first and treats them with care and respect. Such love would invite deep emotional feelings that goes beyond physical pleasures. It is progressive, has intense level of arousal and commitment. Only at this point do we always talk of genuine marriage that lasts. When two people love each other, sex is the only way they become one and this must only exist within marriage. When two people want to express their love in daily life with social approval and support, they get married. Sex then becomes legal and easier for them; it shows love.
What does the bible teach about sex, love and marriage? First we must know that sex is only happens between a husbamd and a wife therefore it comes after marriage.
In the world of marriage today there is sex inside and outside marriage. The norms have become too liberal and face challenges from victims who are barely in their youth. Why is it not easy to find a virgin at marriage? The society is too lean and is watching from a distance these know it all teens who do not care about the norms. We now belong to a society that loses its morals and then waits for karma to act. Whatever happened to the moral coaching within families on acceptable societal behaviour? We got to get on toes, set things right and look upon the holy books as our personal constitutions to shape our lives and those of the generations to come. Procede.

Ref. Deutronomy 5:18, 22: 12-21, Pro 7: 6-27, Mat 5: 27-28, Rom 1:26-27 Gen 2: 18-24, Mat 19: 3-6;

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Gone Love…


And you started getting tired,
a cure was not meant to be…
I put my arms around you,
‘come with me’ I begged
You shoved me off
My tearful eyes watched you,
Saw your jovial shadow go
I remained here
With my promised perpetual affection
Tightly gripped abreast
I could not make you stay

Again and again
I relived each day by us
Your taled, vain love,
Your intended affection…
Broke my heart…
I stood, stared and sighed
Never to look back in a hurry
Waiting for you….
You never came
I now own a broken heart
That understands no tomorrow

One day to find me here
With my eyes closed
When yours open
I don’t long for that day.
It won’t come today.

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Friendship could probably be one of those essential and valuable things in life. It however beats logic when ‘a friend in need is a friend in deed’ is mentioned. Are they friends in deed when they are in need? Whatever this means…. friendship must be cherished.
However when ‘no man is an island’, it is apparent that this could just be a desperate way of saying, ‘don’t keep away from friends or else karma will catch up with you’. Scary!

Friendship as well as morality has a way of dealing with anyone who goes against any of its set norms. While they sing ‘what goes around must come round’ we sit back and hope that those who twisted our personal desire, did wrong to us or inflicted us in some way will come round and see. Friendship never existed here.

What actually is the essence of friendship anyway? Does it really matter? Would you consider it a ‘need’ or just a ‘want’? Being in relationship with others need to have some basis; being in a perfect relationship with yourself. Therefore in effort to make ourselves comfortable and happy, we just want to trample on others and draw others closer to us. But do we really need to do that? We need a personal constitution, to guide, direct and shape our behavioral tomorrow. In this case, a Holy Book; the Bible or Quran or something.
These holy books; the Bible, Quran etc are some guide or rather personal constitutions for the heaven bounds. But what do they say about friendship? Looking at Christians, who use the Holy Bible, their lives, relationships and norms are guided by the holy bible to achieve their eternal objective. This is what they live by. However friendship has been given a back seat, assumed and ignored. This is probably true for those Christians who identify with a caliber of ‘friends’.

From Ecclesiastes, John, Proverbs and Psalms we get to understand some characteristics of friendship. The only challenge is how to express this relationship practically. Like all the other bible interpretations, these could be interpreted and misinterpreted depending on the basic understanding and gain of the interpreter.

From Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: if one falls down, his friend can help him up.” It is clear that we all need friends. However, even if we whine over how badly treated we are by those who call themselves our friends, ‘A friend means well, even when he hurts you… Proverbs 27: 6. Get yourself one and never let them go however bad a situation might seem. Once a friend always a friend.
Therefore, whatever friendship means to you, Jesus said; “The greatest love a person can have for his friends is to give his life for them” John 15: 13Happiness

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